Sunday, December 30, 2012

The obligatory New Years resolutions post. And as usual it late.

As usual my posting schedule thing is all shades of fudged up but whatev's as the cool people say or something-or-nothing.

I'm hoping for 2013 to be a big year for me and my little family. Little madam starts full times school, the husband is all systems go in his new job and I've managed to get through 4 months of full time work without any major stuff ups. Yay!

The big goal for this year is to buy our first house.
Smaller more personal goals are as follows in simple list (meaning at the end of the year I can cut and paste to see how many I actually have done, I also LOVE lists!
- lose another 12-15kg
- make a patchwork quilt for little madam
- find a super cheap second hand furniture place to buy furniture to make over. We sold most of ours before leaving Darwin to reduce storage costs. Local perth locations, ideas and suggestions accepted!
- grow my hair out so I can finally learn to do victory rolls
- master the use of liquid eyeliner
- post on here at least once a week
- watch less tv
- spend less time on Facebook
- spend more one on one time with the husband. (I hate referring to as him like that but can't think of another name for him...also open to suggestions)
- make pathetic to pinup bigger and better with awesome new things to show you all and maybe some Vlogs in the future so you can actually HEAR all the crap I come out with rather than just reading it :)

What are your goals for this year?

Much love


Friday, December 7, 2012

What NOT to do as a customer.

Hello lovelies

It's heading into that time of year that those of us in customer service roles dread.
The silly season.

So as a public service to all others, who like me are pretty much living at work over the next couple of weeks, I figured I should compile a what NOT to do list for customers.

As much as the things listed seem like common sense to avoid, they are all examples given by others I know (as well as my own experiences) so common sense may not be as common as it should be. I couldn't make this shit up if I TRIED!

1) While you are being served get off your bloody phone! It's rude and transactions take longer when you aren't listening to the person serving you. Also don't tap your fingers at us. Or worse.. Click at us!

2) Fitting rooms are NOT toilets. Hiding a turd under a pile of clothes won't solve the problem either!

3) Following on from number 2, fitting rooms aren't a private space for you to have a "hand relief" session over multiple pairs of women's underwear. (The police were called for that one)

4) Don't try on clothes while "aunt flow" is visiting an you have no grasp on personal hygiene.

5) DON'T expect to return items that have been used or soiled. Clothes reeking of cigarette smoke or worn UNWASHED underwear cannot be returned. The undies riding up your crack while you were wearing them doesn't make them faulty!

6) FYI. The oldest looking staff member is not always the manager.

7) Don't ask the person serving you super personal questions. Whatever someone's sexuality is, is NONE of your business.

8) Don't ask the pregnant woman serving you if she's keeping the baby just because you have assumed she's 16 when really she's 22 and married.

9) Don't poo in pot plants

10) Sex in change rooms isn't cool.

11) DONT strip down to your jocks to show the bartender how much weight you have lost.

12) If your child has an accident in a store. Clean it up! Or at least let someone know. Don't a) cover it with a notebook or similar. b) park your pram over it while in the store an then wheel out a trail of crap behind it. c) wipe their backside and leave the wipes behind as well!

13) Ask if there is a bin, DONT put your empty cup wherever you feel like.

14) DON'T comment in the size, shape or appearance of the person serving you unless it's a genuine compliment.

15) DON'T get snippy when greeted at the door. It's our job. As long as its genuine and happy...stop bitching.

16) Yes we will try to up-sell.'s our job. Take it in good humour.

17) We aren't babysitters. Supervise your own bloody kids! I don't know you an I don't know your kids so don't leave them alone in the store!

18) If its obviously busy please try not to get cross with us. We are as frazzled by the whole season as you are. Remember we also need to fit in our own Christmas shopping at some stage when we aren't helping you with yours!

19) DONT dump your money on the counter then rudely push it towards us to pay. Be a freaking human and HAND it to us!

20) If you see someone with staff ID tags or uniform while in line for the loo don't start complaining about a product they stock. Write to head office. We don't choose our products. Especially DON'T continue the conversation/complaint from the cubical next to us. Wee time is ME time!

Enjoy your Christmas shopping folks.

And remember to be nice. If you are in one of the many shopping centres in perth it could me serving you...and I'm a right bitch!


Ps. Don't get me wrong. I actually really enjoy my job and 99% of my customers. The other 1% give me great material to blog about.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The reality of domestic abuse. Part 3- Interview

To finish up my 3 part blog series on the reality of domestic abuse I was lucky enough to get to interview Chris Allen, Author and White Ribbon Day ambassador.

Hope you all enjoy :)


-Can you introduce yourself without using the term "I" ;) 

Chris was born and raised in Perth, Western Australia, the son of a Welsh father and an Australian mother. He is the middle child of five, with two older sisters and two younger brothers. His career to date has been predominantly military and law enforcement. Most recently he has been focused on his emerging career as a writer of thrillers. His married Sarah in 2008. They live in Sydney and have two young sons, Morgan and Rhett.

-What made you want to get involved with White Ribbon Day as an ambassador?

I was lucky enough to be brought up to respect women by default, both by my parents and at school. In fact, I remember being given a book called 'Gentleman Junior' when I first started out at an all boys school in Perth. We learned the basics very early on! It's so important. On top of that I have two older sisters who are both strong willed and confident women. Our home was always busy and my sisters friends were always around. So, I was lucky that my early years gave me a solid foundation in being respectful towards women.  

In my later years I've felt a responsibility to contribute in some way towards ensuring that young men grow up with similar values and that respecting women becomes their default position. I now have two young sons and that responsibility, in my view, has skyrocketed as a result. By becoming a White Ribbon Ambassador, I'm able to provide an example to my sons, both at home and publicly by declaring my commitment, speaking on behalf of White Ribbon and, most importantly, looking after their mum and showing them exactly what it means to respect women every day.    

- Being a former defence member (me too!) You were in a male dominated environment, What do you think is the general consensus of Australian men and their thoughts on violence against women?
Honestly, I believe that the majority of men are fundamentally against any form of violence against women. Sadly, however I believe that the line becomes blurred when totally unacceptable behaviours are popularised within certain pop-culture contexts like movies, reality TV or - closer to home - social settings where drugs and alcohol are a factor.
That said, it's important to note that White Ribbon believes in the goodness of most men. It believes that good men reject violence against women and are willing to act to prevent it. White Ribbon believes in the capacity of the individual to change and to encourage change in others. Hence, the importance that the White Ribbon movement places on men providing the leadership to other men to change. 
- What changes do you think can be made to prevent continuing violence against women? Mindset changes? Legal changes? Etc

Violence against women in Australia is a grave problem.

  • One Australian woman is killed every week by a current or former partner.
  • One in three women over the age of 15 report physical or sexual violence at some time in their lives.
  • One in four young people have witnessed violence against their mother or step-mother.
  • Two thirds of women who experience domestic or family violence are in paid work.
  • Domestic and family violence is the major cause of homelessness for Australian women and their children.
  • According to KPMG, violence against women and their children cost the Australian economy $13.6 billion in 2009 and unless appropriate action is taken to prevent violence, that sum will increase to $15.6 billion per year by 2021.
The White Ribbon campaign focuses its efforts on primary prevention. In other words, it works to change our culture to stop the violence before it occurs, with activities in schools, workplaces and the broader community.  This is exactly what I was saying earlier about getting the message through to young boys in their most formative years.  In the meantime, it's all about awareness, demonstrating a zero tolerance attitude in your daily life and, above all, setting an example to others.

The violence perpetrated by men against women must stop – and it’s up to men to stop it. Good men can not and will not sit on the sidelines while those they love come to harm.
- How can everyone get involved in white ribbon day?
White Ribbon Day should be considered an opportunity to revisit and renew your commitment to stamping out any form of violence against women. For those new to White Ribbon it should be considered the beginning of a lifelong commitment.   Most importantly, White Ribbon Day is much more than just talking about violence against women on one particular day of the year. The Foundation's work is constant and requires ongoing commitment from everybody:

White Ribbon comprises a number of primary prevention programs to engage a broad range of Australians.

The Ambassador Program

White Ribbon Ambassadors are the leaders and faces of White Ribbon, men and boys who have made a commitment to take an active role in ending violence against women. Ambassadors are at the front line of the Campaign; from all walks of life, they are passionate advocates for social change. White Ribbon now has 1900 active Ambassadors promoting the Campaign in the Australian community.

Ambassadors demonstrate this commitment by:

  • wearing a white ribbon or wristband on White Ribbon Day and encouraging others to do the same
  • sharing the White Ribbon message within their networks and through social media
  • highlighting the importance of respect for women and attitudinal change
  • nominating other suitable men as Ambassadors
  • hosting, attending or speaking at awareness-raising and fundraising events
  • encouraging community groups, local councils, workplaces, men’s organisations, sports and services clubs to get involved in the White Ribbon Campaign, and
  • drawing on personal and professional contacts to extend the White Ribbon message.

The Breaking the Silence in Schools Program 

White Ribbon’s Breaking the Silence in Schools Program began in 2009 and is now applied in 90 schools throughout the Sydney region. Due to the program’s success, White Ribbon is now working on expanding this program nationally.

The program works to inspire principals to strengthen the culture of respect in their schools; builds on existing personal development and anti-bullying programs; and provides training and resources to school leadership.

The Workplace Program

Workplaces can play a powerful role in shaping attitudes to women. Violence, whether it occurs in or beyond the work environment, damages the wellbeing of working women and their productivity. It may also impact negatively on the reputation of the organisation and its bottom line.

The White Ribbon Workplace Program supports workplaces in preventing and responding to violence against women. The Program calls upon organisations to take steps to promote safe workplaces by making changes to organisational culture, practices and procedures.

The Program achieves this by:
  • building workplace awareness
  • increasing staff and managerial knowledge and skill to address issues of violence against women, and
  • recognising proactive and innovative steps being taken by workplaces.
Raising awareness

Every year White Ribbon runs an awareness campaign about the issue of violence against women and the role men play in preventing this violence. In 2012, White Ribbon is encouraging men to stand up to violence against women with the knowledge that thousands of good men have got their back.

White Ribbon’s new campaign highlights that men can challenge their mates, and others, in a way that does not endanger their own safety, knowing there are many good men who support their actions. The change starts with good men standing up and letting the perpetrators know that violent attitudes and behaviour towards women are never acceptable in any circumstance. 


Chris Allen is a writer who says that he likes to write escapist action thrillers grounded with a liberal dose of realism.

He is a former paratrooper who served with the Australian, New Zealand and British armies. He retired as a Major when injuries precluded him from further military service. Exiting military life, Chris transitioned into humanitarian aid work during the East Timorese emergency, served with three law enforcement agencies in Australia, protected Sydney’s most iconic landmark in the wake of 9-11 and between 2008 & 2012 was the Sheriff of New South Wales, one of the oldest law enforcement appointments in the land.

Now a full-time writer, Chris is exploring film interest in his stories while he completes a full series of Intrepid action thrillers.

You can find out more about Chris here: 


Monday, November 19, 2012

The reality of domestic abuse. Part two- Factual

Welcome to part two.

I figured that a topic as heavy as this should be broken into a few parts. More so for me than just for you guys. It's a challenging topic to do justice.

When I finally got away from my douchebag ex I was lucky enough to have a supportive family and no permanent ties to him, like children.
Other women faced with this aren't so fortunate.
The belongings we owned together, or that were mine and too big to fit on the trailer were left behind. Anything to avoid further contact or conflict. He had a heathy bank account (as my money was used for day to day expenses as I was paid in cash, taxed cash but cash all the same.) I was left broke and with continuing bills.
Many other women have to face their abuser regularly to hand over their most precious "asset", their children.

This is usually a time of high stress (Understandably) and many times the control and intimidation continues to be directed at them during these hand overs. Many women I know in this situation are terrified they will not get their children back.

Domestic abuse mostly follows a cyclic flow chart.
Sadly the most dangerous time for any woman is when she actually decides to leave. The loss of control sends the abuser into a tailspin and they lash out.

If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship and wanting to get out, please, please, please make a plan. Talk to your local police, women's shelters, family anyone but get armed with as much information as you possibly can.

Part 3 of the reality of domestic abuse series will be up shortly.

Much love


Friday, November 9, 2012

A letter to the bride to be.

Dear L.

I wholeheartedly wish I could be here today to see you and D start your married lives together. Unfortunately due to my ever changing circumstances and ever increasing distance away there was no possible way of attending and plans A through to Z were thwarted.
Please know that I will definately be there in thought, probably not far from the drink service area.

A marriage is something very special. Ironically it's something I feel should never be rushed into...with anyone but your one true love. I honestly believe that D is that one person for you. I wish you both amazing love and happiness from this day until eternity and know that many happy and amazing events and milestones await the two of you.

One day in the far off future we can be hobbling along on our Zimmer frames shopping for homey peds talking about about how rich and blessed our lives and marriages have been.

Who knew those two little girls dressing up as princesses in your mums jewellery would both find our prince and our happy endings.

Have a drink for me and know that I love you.

Love Cie.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

High-ish tea. Review.

A few weeks ago I attended a high tea one afternoon with ms mystery case. (ok so more than a few, naughty naughty blogger!)

It was my chance to lose my high tea virginity. As much as I adore all things vintage a high tea opportunity had never presented itself before now.

I met Ms Case at the esplanade hotel in sunny Fremantle, conversing internally with myself on the way that this went against everything I tell my daughter about stranger danger. I need not have worried. Ms Case was an absolute doll! And the fact that she had been so patient with me while I took my sweet ass time to get this blog post to her illustrates that she's even more lovely than first impressions let on.

The room for high tea at the esplanade is bright and the large windows look towards the park and the waters edge. Great views in the sunnier months of the year.

The high tea was very reasonably priced, but as with many things the less you pay the more you forgo.

The items served looked amazing on a less than traditional tower and the creme brûlée mini tea cups were a delight.

I would suggest that high tea at the esplanade would be perfect for novices like me but for those looking for the splendors that the term "high tea" conjures than you probably will be disappointed. Perfect for a 16th birthday party or similar but for those looking for the full ladylike experience best to look elsewhere.

See Ms Mystery Case's blog to see what she's all about!

Much love.


The reality of domestic abuse. Part one- Emotive.

"You know how I get and you just keep pushing me!"

"It must be your fault because nobody else has made me this angry before"

"No body else would ever want you so stop bitching about how I treat you"

"You are revolting! You are lucky to even have me!"

It may sound like another cliche government advertisement but every one of these lines have been thrown at women I know. Strong, educated women who would be a force to be reckoned with should a stranger dare to come between them and their children or families. Sadly enough it's the person they trusted most who harnessed the blame on them. Their partner.

According to "one in three women over the age of 15 will experience physical or sexual violence at some time in their lives" and sadly in Australia "every week one woman is killed by a current or former partner"

Unfortunately I am part of that statistic.
I was physically and sexually abused by a former partner. I was too scared to speak up at the time but ultimately got out of the relationship and am obviously now safe and happily married to someone I know would never even consider treating me so despicably. Unfortunately not every woman in my situation can go to sleep at night knowing that there won't be an issue any bigger than a forgotten phone bill. And it breaks my heart.

As the mother of an amazing little girl the statistics are heart wrenching. If its not my daughter then it's statistically likely that it will be one of her friends. One in three...With those odds watching a group of happy bubbly 5 year olds play at a birthday party takes a dark turn, knowing that two, maybe three of of those darling little angels happily dancing, dressed as fairies will one day be terrified for her wellbeing and possibly for her life.

There was a tv advertisement that was
on regularly while I was pregnant, three little girls in their ballet outfits waiting in the wings to go on stage, dressed in pale pink leotards and tutus, their hair pulled back into slick buns. Innocence embodied...Then it faded out to give the stark statistics rolling across the screen in bold white lettering. One in three girls...
I couldn't watch it.
It would make my blood feel like shards of ice in my veins.
I was once one of those little girls.
I was that one in three.

As strange as it sounds, I'm ok that I was me. I'm not ok that it happened but because it was me, statistically, it may not happen to someone else, someone who wasn't as strong as I was, as strong as I am. Someone who may not have been able to move past it, who couldn't talk about it through it, someone who felt ashamed.
Someone who couldn't use the opportunity to try to educate others.

I was 16 when it first happened. Naive and trusting, not aware of the horrors that the big wide world could hold. Feeling like an adult but in reality still had a lot of growing up to do.
And yet I stayed with him for another 4 years. I believed that I was the cause, an antagonist to his anger.
I got off lightly.
There were no broken bones, no lasting scars, no wounds to act as a reminder.
On the outside at least.
On the inside, on my soul, there was lasting damage that almost 6 years later is still gradually being smoothed into place.
It will never be fixed.
The innocent perfection can never be replicated.
There will always be bumps and dents that no amount of self work can completely hide. Small things can trigger unexpected reactions.
For example Joop aftershave will always make me anxious and want to vomit.
Nothing will take that away.

Sadly it took me quite a long time to finally realise that he was something I should be afraid of.
He wasn't the knight in shining armour that he made himself out to be, he was the dragon and I had swallowed his lies one after another.
It was like the controlling confines of the relationship gave me somewhat of a "safe haven" and it wasn't until I was finally safe and no longer being brainwashed daily that I realised how much of a monster he really is and I was able to debrief myself on the situation.
I wasn't the problem, he was.
I wasn't at fault for his anger, he was.

The realisation that I had in fact been in an abusive relationship the entire time was a bit of a bombshell.
I wasn't until I was filling in a friend about why I left the relationship and I heard myself telling the whole story that it dawned on me.
I wish I had listened earlier.

Part two of this post series will be up tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Much love


Monday, October 22, 2012

It can't be that hard can it?

I work in retail, as a manager, I obviously have a retail background going back for over 10 years and recently we started hiring a bulk lot of Christmas casual staff. While this was taking up a lot of my mind palace (my brain) I did what any self respecting woman would do on her lunch break in a large shopping centre, retail therapy time.

One hour later my purchases equated to zero and my blood pressure was through the roof. How freaking hard is it to get great (or even good) customer service these days.

After getting home and venting to the only other woman of legal shopping age in my house, my mother in law, we both realised that we had similar gripes.
Being greeted with a standard and automated "Hi, how are you?" With no personality or sincerity is frustrating to the customer after entering more than 3 stores in quick succession. The only thing worse is being ignored!

At risk at sounding up myself I have to say I rock at retail customer service! I'm cheeky, irreverent and slightly nuts at work but the number of compliments I have received in the short time I have been back in the work force says to me that many other people are frustrated with the lack of GENUINE interaction from retail attendants.

What's your biggest gripe with customer service? Any horror stories? Any amazing examples of GREAT service?

What advice should I offer to my brand new (mostly very young and inexperienced) Christmas casuals?

This is your chance to potentially influence a new group of customer service retail workers so essay comments are welcome if you have a lot to share.

Much love.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

The case of the vanishing blogger.

Hello my lovelies!!

I'm so sorry I have abandoned you for a while but it's for a good reason...promise!!

I have started a brand new full time job! {yay!}
And my goodness hasn't it been a bit of a shock to the system!!
I'm very much enjoying it and the position I'm in was very unexpected as I hadn't been in paid employment for almost 5 years.
My boss is lovely, and my staff I have met so far are great but I was kidding myself thinking returning to work would be a smooth transition!
Luckily the in-laws and hubby have been able to pick up from childcare when I am unable to and hubby is also becoming the perfect house wife as far as the laundry etc goes.
Huge props going out to working mums with no help and a workplace that isn't supportive. You guys need a medal just for getting up in the mornings!

So that's my bit of news.
Anyone else have anything exciting to share? Big or small.

Much love.


Thursday, September 6, 2012


I had planned on putting this up a few weeks ago...but kept coming across other blogs with a similar idea so I put it off....
This was written almost 7 years ago's not a new thing at all

So here it is....THE LIST!

I wrote this after ending an abusive relationship (years before meeting my now Husband
I'm slowly ticking things off and when I get to the end, I will write a new one and start again!!!
What's on your list of things you want to do before you die???
Do you have a bucket list? 
Care to share?


The list.

What I want in a partner.
*Someone who will be themselves
*Respect me and my opinions even if they don’t share the same
*Not be closed minded
*Love me for who I am and not expect me to change (too much)
*Have direction in their own lives
*Love me for my mind but love my body as well
*Be accepting of my appearance the way it is
*Compliment often but constructive criticism given if needed (in a thoughtful way)
*Be secure in themselves and our relationship
*No violence towards me or anyone/thing important to me
*Affectionate (the smallest actions can sometimes mean the most)
(all done in 2007...Mr President)

I do want to get married have a family and settle down. That doesn’t mean I want to ever be boring. I want to have fun for the entirety of my life, regardless of the stage I’m in. I would want a life for my children similar to my own upbringing. I was always told I have anything in life that I wanted as long as I worked hard and put my mind to it and I would want my own children instilled with the same self belief.

*Ride an elephant in Thailand
*See the Taj Mahal at sunrise or sunset
*Sail around the Greek islands (topless)
*Dance at carnival in Rio
*Go to a B and S ball in rural Australia
*Climb Everest.
*Go swimming with sharks off the coast of Africa
*Visit Auschwitz and Changi concentration/death camps
*Kayak in New Zealand
*Drive a vintage convertible along the coast of California
*Go to the red square in Russia
*see the Louve museum
*See the ruins in Cambodia
*hike to Muchu Pichu in Peru
*experience Venice before it sinks
*walk the Kokoda trail

*Learn to shoot a gun, accurately (2007, austyer )

*Pose naked for a men’s magazine
*Elope (to Vegas??)
*Re-learn the double bass
*Have salsa lessons
*Speak a foreign language moderately well (2007...Indonesian... and the navy paid for me to do it)

*Get a tattoo (2007)

*Save someone’s life
*Write a self help book
*Fall in love again every single day with the same person (2007)
*Give a million dollars to charity
*Convince someone else to get my name as a tattoo
*Kayak grade 5-6 in New Zealand
*Streak through a sports match….doesn’t matter how big or small the game is…extra points if I get arrested!!
*Give birth -2008

Thursday, August 30, 2012

When trolls come out to play- Defence force version

Today news was released that 5 Australian army were killed in two separate incidences in Afghanistan.
Every single time we lose one of our boys (or girls, although I don't think that's happened yet in Afghanistan , correct me of I'm wrong!) big tough keyboard warriors come out to play.

I was a defence spouse for 5 years (still am in a way as hubby is still an active reservist)
In that 5 years there were 5 international trips (for him, not me) that spanned from a couple of weeks to months away, we had a baby, we moved to 5 houses in 5 different states of Australia, lots of trips all over the country (again for him, not me) and him weeks and weeks and weeks away.
I know that it all sounds very negative but the reality was that I was pretty lucky. My husband only deployed to one country and it wasn't classed as a war zone at the time, and the worst injury he ever suffered required a full tendon reconstruction to his ankle after completely destroying it then continuing to work as normal.

Tonight 5 families have found out their husband/father/son/brother/uncle/best friend is never coming home again. Fathers that will never get to read their children a bedtime story again.
Some who do come home don't come back the same, the scrounge that is PTSD irreparability changes them. Families are altered or destroyed.
I have been with a friend when she has gotten a phone call from her husband deployed in the middle east after a close call whist on patrol and that reaction alone is enough to chill to the bone at the reality of the situation

In Australia, military service is voluntary. They are highly trained and immensely patriotic and passionate about their job and what it represents.
As much as the media is harsh on defense culture alot of the time what they fail to focus on is the mate ship, the connection that is sometimes stronger than family ties and the reality that if there is ever a problem your mates always have your back, no matter what!

What sickens me is that whenever a soldier is killed the Internet trolls rev up their modems and jump on their soapboxes to use the death of an ADF member as an opportunity to spew their putrid opinions to anyone who will listen.
Over the years I have read that soldiers deserve to be killed for being idiotic pawns of war, that soldiers are rapists and murderers, that soldiers are terrorists with better toys. The worst by far was a couple of years ago was under a post about the most recent fatalities someone had replied with "good riddance" I'm sure similar things would be said about sailors or airmen/women if they suffered fatalities as well.

Believing in or supporting whichever conflict is happening whenever has nothing to do with it. Soldiers, sailors and airmen/women go where they are ordered to, no ifs, buts or maybes about it. The consequences of not going or going AWOL can result in jail time in a military prison.

Our military is made up of PEOPLE.
All kinds of people, all with different backgrounds, beliefs and back stories.
Every single one of those people are someones son or daughter.
Some have their own sons or daughters.
And every single one of them are trying to do the best they can in a very unique and unusual lifestyle.

To all the trolls out there slagging out our serving members. You are all very tough and opinionated behind your keyboard but I would love to see you announce those same thoughts in person in front of a full defence unit.
Let's see how tough you are then.
Go on.
I dare you!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The slipper radius

As the cooler weather starts to give way to the occasional sunny day it's made me think about my winter habits. Specifically my slipper habits.
I feel like the front fence of the house is a impenetrable, enforceable slipper radius. I will not under any circumstance go past this barrier in my slippers. Not even just to duck next door to grab jumper leads for a car battery, the slippers MUST be removed.
When I started over thinking my slipper habits (God I need a hobby or something!) I started to notice that other people have a different slipper line than I do. Slippers at the shops, slippers in the car to drop off older kids to school, slippers just about anywhere.
It made me think about why I originally started this blog.
My braless radius used to be the front door and over the years it got further and further away until the fateful day I went shopping without one (and without shoes! Eeek!)

Maybe that's how the whole rights as pants thing got started, the radius just grew?!

What do you have a radius for? What radius has extended for you?



Monday, August 27, 2012

A Polkadot day out.

Hi everyone!

I'm so sorry its taken so long to happen but FINALLY getting my thoughts on the Polka dot vintage market in Perth up on the blog! (A lack of internet last week took its toll on my blogging mojo!)

On Saturday18th of August I headed off to Claremont showgrounds to indulge myself in a kid free morning of vintage goodies.
I wasn't disappointed. The Polka dot vintage market is just one of 3 markets help together in a pavilion. There is vinatge/antique home wear and furniture up the top and on the lower section is the handmade goodies and the vintage clothing area up the back.
I only made it to the two lower sections before I had to head home but you can read all about the upper section here on Kelly's blog

Although I was on a super strict budget for the day (Which unfortunately prevented me from making any serious purchases) I still picked up a couple of little goodies from On The Front Line (Some mini cleaver earrings and delightfully real looking cherry hair bow..only $13 for both!!)
I also got to meet the lovely Jewel from Jewel's wardrobe and Chris from Fresh Styles, I love meeting people who have commented on the Pathetic to Pinup Facebook page in real life!

I also got the details of many websites and stores that stock amazing vintage items or vintage styled items with a modern twist. I love Bettie Page dresses and I now know where to get them in Perth!

 My tip for these sorts of busy events is if you don't have the time or $$ on the day make sure you grab some details so you can check out whats on offer another time

I was really impressed with the variation of items up for sale, I just wish the vintage clothing sellers were given a little more space next time (I bet they are hoping so as well!)

For the next market in November (17th-18th) I will be taking along some extra money, more time and smaller heels! (My feet were killing me as I had been out the night before as well, the hangover wasn't really helping either)

So if you are a Perth local I might see you there in November!


Monday, August 13, 2012

Obsessed with something oh so wrong.

Today I'm linking up with Lauren at The Surprise Beginning for Really Really Ridiculously Good Looking Monday's Blog Hop.

The Surprise Beginning

Am I the only person who gets obsessed with things that really don't work for them and cannot let the idea go even though I know it's potentially bad for me.

I'm not talking about men or diets. I'm talking about fashion trends.

At the moment I have a fixation on leather look tights. I know I will never ever wear them but I can't help it.
I can think of a million different ways to style them, in my dream outfits however I have the same body as Miranda Kerr.
The reality is that I have short chunky stumpy legs and even If I was brave enough to buy a pair I would probably have to wear them all scrunched up to get all that fabric onto my limited length.

To get my PVC fix in check I purchased a leather look skirt from eBay.

It's sat in a drawer since I got it, I'm too afraid to wear it.

My inner fashionista has deserted me again, she's probably run off somewhere to shop and drink cocktails, most likely Thailand somewhere. Bitch.

Why is it that most up to the minute trends aren't that nice in reality?
 The idea is fabulous but when you put it on to head to the local shops you feel overdone and pathetic.

On the other hand, I was VERY against coloured skinny jeans (on me, love them on others who can rock them)
Last week I purchased a pinky-red pair....lets just say I am now a convert! I love them!
(and notice they are the perfect length for short legs!)

What have you purchased because you love the idea but the reality freaks you out?
Have you ever disliked something, fashion wise, and been swiftly converted?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

One week in photos.

One week of self taken photos. No particular order. A post of pure vanity I suppose. :)


Friday, August 10, 2012

The change room of doom and how it stole my day.

Today I had one of those moments where you take a step back and ask the universe. "WTF?! Are you kidding me?!"

I ducked into my local shopping centre to grab some new jeans as I've lost some weight recently (FINALLY!) and my pants keep falling down and presenting by backside to the world.

Feeling pretty awesome about myself and my recent slim-ish-ness (new word for everyone right there) I grabbed the things I wanted to try on an headed for the change room.

That's when everything started turning for me. Here I am thinking I looked ok, no makeup but that's no biggie, and had done the school run so was dressed accordingly. You know one of those days where you are feeling pretty good about yourself.

The mirror on the other hand thought differently. It went out of its way to amplify every issue as I was trying things on. I had no idea my regrowth was so bad! I hadn't realised my legs were starting to resemble old growth forrests. Why for the love of god was I wearing the dodgiest undies I own! I look like a lizard and need to exfoliate STAT! And so on and so forth.

My day was supposed to be super productive and I had plans to make the best use of my kid free time.

Oh no! After my run in with the change room of doom I had to go home and colour my hair, shave my legs and remove all strange flakes of skin attached to my body.

Needless to say. Today has NOT gone to plan. How did all those seemingly small beauty related tasks I had put off for a while add up to sponge most of my day away!

I promise I had a really awesome post planned out for just didn't happen. Dammit!

Have you ever felt like you have lost an entire day?



Wednesday, August 8, 2012

(Possibly NSFW) Fifty Shades of Grey leads the way for fifty shades of fetish?

Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James has women all over the world getting hot and bothered and sales at adult stores around the globe have skyrocketed, many stores completely selling out of items mentioned in the book trilogy.

BDSM paraphernalia seems to me, to be be the new "Rabbit" a woodland friend styled personal vibrator that rose to fame after being featured in THAT episode of "Sex and the City" (If you haven't seen it have you been living under a rock??!)

What Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha did did for self pleasure and exploration, E L James has done for BDSM, made it mainstream.

Whether or not E L James has created a catalyst for a new sexual revolution or not, kinky sex is now being talked about. Book clubs, mothers groups, girls nights out, Facebook pages and on twitter.
The flame has been lit under many a woman's libido and there is expected to be a population boom in 9 months time of "grey babies"

If vibrators and now BDSM are common place what will be the next big craze that will become fashionable? I have prepared a list of possibilities, some are pretty far out of left field. (I have also included BDSM for those who are unsure of the details.)

BDSM-  Is knows as the combination of two acronyms B&Dbondage and discipline, and S&M- sadism and masochism it is essentially people who use experiences of pain and power to create sexual tension, pleasure, and release. Its not all just whips, leather and being ties up. The 'mind fuck' is the key focus point. Anyone can spank but its the games that come before during and after are an intricate part of the "play"

Plushies- Fetish for soft toys (plushies) I found that there were two 'groups' of plushies...ones who just love to cuddle hold and sleep with them or ones who used them for sexual gratification buy rubbing against them or by creating specially placed holes in them or adding specifically placed appendages on them. Interesting fact, the most popular plushie is Meeko, the raccoon from Pocahontas  Depending on what series it is, they can sell for as much as $180!

FluffiesThose who like to dress as stuffed animals. The costumes are carefully chosen and once they are fluffie-fied the wearer takes on a new persona they create to go with the costume.

Sploshing- In a nut shell...super messy sex, usually with  food items. Sploshing is basically the act of playing with body chocolate on steroids.

SmokingThe fetish for watching people smoke.....explains its self really :)

FeetFoot and/or shoe fetish is apparently the most common of all fetishes it  is basically worship and/or sexual preference toward feet or shoes. many of the sites i researched on talked about foot jobs ( a hand job using feet) I think i got ripped off here, many foot fetishists are insistent on their partner having frequent professional pedicures....I dont think i would mind that at all!

Feeders/gainers- People who like their women and men BIG and enjoy feeding them up and watching them gain weight. Some feeders are very scientific in recording their "results" by regular weighing ins and measurements being taken and recorded....Much like the Biggest Loser backwards.   

Infantilism(also includes diaper fetish) dressing and acting as an infant.

Anime porn/fetish (hentai)- Sexually explicit or pornographic comics and animation (usually of Japanese origin) Japanese origin such as anime, manga and computer games

Latex- Latex and rubber come under the same  heading, dressing in and feeling rubber/latex is sexually gratifying 

Voyeurism/exhibitionism- Watching/ being watched in sexual situations or otherwise, some like to watch or be watched whilst performing mundane tasks.

Water sports/scat- Wee play (weeing on or being wee'ed on) scat is similar except replace wee with poo. 

Blood fetishes- There are HEAPS of different types, including blood letting menstrual blood and vampiric fetishes. EEEK!

Old people- Large age gaps and attraction to the elderly this is the reason why wrinkle porn is so popular 

Asphixiation (autoerotic or with help)Being strangled or suffocated with by your own doing or with help. (I'm surprised about the number of people I know personally who are open about being into this.) 

 Mummifiction- Part of bdsm play to remove power and ability to move. 

 Amputation- People who are sexually aroused by the sight of an amputation usually of a whole arm or leg. Some would like their own limbs removed and with go to drastic lengths if unable to get a medical professional to preform the medically unnecessary limb removal.

BukkakeSexual practice that features a person (usually female) being ejaculated on by several men. Gokkun is similar in which several men ejaculate into a container for the receiver to drink

BalloonsLooners are into balloons, EVERYTHING about balloons, the texture, the smell, the feel, rubbing against them for sexual release. There are those that are poppers and those who dislike the popping.  

What are your thoughts on "alternative" sexual lifestyles and fetishes becoming mainstream? 

Have you ever tried anything a bit kinky?

Have you read the Fifty shades of grey books? (Care to share your thoughts? Read Where's My Glow's take on E L James' bestsellers here)

(Remember you can leave a comment under an alternative name if you are feeling a bit shy!)


Monday, August 6, 2012

The winter blues and pathetic to pinup's very first giveaway!

During the colder months I find that showering is a pain the backside. Once you are under the warm water it's all fine and dandy but the undressing and redressing part sucks! I figure I can't be the only person who feels like this. To make you shower time a little more uplifting during the winter months, today I'm offering the first ever giveaway on Pathetic to pinup and this one comes with a story as well.

During a coffee date catch up with Yvette from Delightfully Tacky Lil Squirts and Chantel from Bossy Mummy in Fremantle a couple of weeks ago I wandered past a delicious smell in the freo markets near town hall.
After doing a bit of weird circle laps, much the same as my dog does when she has dropped her smacko. I discovered the cutest little soap stall with lots of lovely sample cuts in front of the full sized soaps.
While I was filling my olfactory system with as many scrummy smells as I could the man behind the stall insisted I take some samples home while explaining to me how the stall works.
It's run by a not for profit company called SMP that provides employment for people with various disabilities. All the soaps are hand made and sold at the market stall by participants to give them skills, independence and employment. (FANTASTIC program in my eyes. Anything that supports peeps with disabilities in the local community is a winner by my standards.)

While we were talking he added one of all four varieties of sample soaps they had in to a paper bag for me.
I was so impressed with the beautiful smells and the fantastic not for profit program (and the guilt of him giving me more samples than I felt was my fair share) I let him know that I write a small local blog and after trying out the soaps I would give the stall a bit of a plug.
All of a sudden full sized soaps and bags of scented soap shavings for wardrobes are being added to my paper bag of trial goodies.

So that's the bit that benefits you guys

I have tried out my little sample bars and they are delish. Lemongrass is my personal fave. (Planning on heading down on Friday to buy me some more actually) They are scented but not over powering, pretty colours too!

I have 4 full sized bars of OPASS handmade soap and an organza bag of soap shavings to scent your wardrobe or use as a scrub bag thing in the tub. Whatever you choose.
The 4 scents are Lemongrass, Rose Geranium, Musk and Lavender.

There will unfortunately be only one winner this time and the must be within Australia. Sorry international people.

To win you will need to like me on Facebook, twitter or on google follow (if you don't use all three that's ok, whichever ones you do use is fine)
Let me know in a comment where you have liked me AND in the same comment leave me a funny tidbit or story about soap, showering or lack thereof. The best answer wins. (will be chosen by some random member in my house I can pin down for a second. Probably MIL)
Comp closes on the 1st of September at 9am Perth Time.

You can find SMP OPASS soaps at the Fremantle markets near town hall on Fridays and Saturday's or contact SMP on (08) 9317 3155 or on Facebook (

This is NOT a sponsored post. The samples I received are available to everyone and anyone who goes to the freo markets.


Sunday, August 5, 2012

Perth vintage market and my thoughts on the rise of vintage style.

On Sunday I dragged little madam and hubby into the city to check out a vintage sale in Northbridge.

After a bit of a hike we eventually found it. Little madam made themselves comfy on an AstroTurf covered lounge and I headed inside for a look.

They weren't waiting long, about 10 mins.
What was advertised as a GIGANTIC vintage sale consisted of 3 long racks of only of 70s, 80's and late 90's clothing (with a couple of 60's items thrown in as well)
Not my kind of thing at all. The 80's especially should be left in the past and everyone should try and forget the fashion of the era ever existed!
It was super popular with other people, judging by the armfulls of clothing being hauled around by shoppers.
But not the right fit for me.

The Polkadot Vintage market is coming up on the 18th and 19th of August and has 300 stalls signed up for this one.
I think I have a better chance of finding items that A) fit me and B) are the right fit for a pinup look. (If you are a stallholder at the market reading this please hide everything in my size for me ok! Lol)

I love that vintage fashion is becoming mainstream. There are so many people rocking vintage items in their everyday outfits and looking amazing. But for some people this snippet of advice is called for and very much needed. Just because something is old doesn't make it vintage, even if it is vintage it doesn't make it stylish! Choose items that suit you. Don't pay "vintage" prices for an old store brand item that wasn't fashionable or particularly good quality when it was originally produced.
(Ending my mini rant now...promise)

I would love to know if Perth has any rockabilly specific events. I know Sydney and various areas of QLD do. If anyone has any details please let me know. :)

How do you feel about the vintage resurgence in Australia fashion? Do you wear vintage items?

Much love

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Hairdresser anxiety, is it just me?

My MIL got her hair cut on Wednesday. It was a pretty dramatic change but it looks great.
It started us talking about hairdressers, the good and the bad.

I know alot of women (especially mums) view having their hair cut and coloured a indulgent treat. A few hours to enjoy child free and completely focused on them even if you do pay through the nose for the privilege.

I love changing my hair (even if 90% of the time I end up with "mum hair" which is impossible to make look polished and fashionable)

But I hate the hairdresser.

For me it's a chore rather than a luxury.

It makes me stressed. Even when you explain why you want or bring along a photo there is still that margin of personal interpretation that means the difference between funky mid 20s hair and looking like you are heading towards the blue rinse age bracket.

I'm also not a fan of the hair washing business. It's probably just because I'm a bit of a control freak.

So am I the only one who gets a pit in their stomach when they know it's coming up to haircut time?

Any horror stories about hairdresser visits?

Hope you are all having a great weekend.



I'm thinking I should just invest in a great hat to extend the time between hair appointments. ;)

Spooks, it's not just a TV show.

I once had a job that was so secret I didn't even know what it was yet an I was already signed into a 6 year contract and training for it.

In 2007 I joined the Royal Australian Navy (RAN) as a young, not quite innocent as I should be, 21 year old. I had my pick of jobs due to my aptitude testing scores
(yeah I know, Talking myself up! It's my blog so I there!)

The job I ended up in was as an Electronic warfare linguist which changed names after I started to crypto logical linguist or something equally exciting sounding.

I was trained and prepped for 9 months
(I submitted my discharge super early after I discovered I was pregnant with little madam, two parents in defence with possible deployments would have been far too challenging!)

For 9 months I lived, ate, breathed my job.
I did an intensive 6 month course in Indonesian and how to specially speak/write/understand military Indonesian language. (lots of acronyms!) None of which I can remember anymore.

Even now, over 4 years later I'm still no closer to finding out exactly what my job was!

I had a job that I wasn't given a description of what it involved. Just lots of vague details.

I was what's commonly know in the defence force as a spook. It's all very secret squirrel.
Even people who have been in defence for years have no idea exactly why they do, it's lots of small dark locked rooms apparently.

However this wasn't the strangest job I've ever had, but more on that another time. :)

Has anyone else ever had a job that the description and reality were vastly different?

Warning this post may make you think I'm nuts!

I have spent a good portion of today swearing at my blogger dashboard. It's being an arsehole and won't magically look like I want it to. Jerk!

I used to have the same problem when I was sewing. The fabric and machine wouldn't behave, not my fault right?!

Have you ever worked really hard on something and not have it work out?

And can anyone help me to deal with my freaking blogger layout??!

Much love and grumbles



Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I've lived everywhere man! And I have the confused fashion sense to prove it!>

I've lived in most of the capital cities of Australia since becoming an adult. Not bad for someone who only became an adult 8 years ago! So far I've lived in Brisbane, Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney, Darwin and now Perth.

The things I have discovered aren't as interesting as you may think. I can tell you what I like or don't like about places but moving around as much as I have isn't all it's cracked up to be.

One thing I have noticed though is Perth seems to be the most fashionable I've lived.
It does help that we live close to Fremantle which attracts fashion conscious people but even heading further out into the suburbs most people seems to have got their shit in one sock fashion wise.

School drop off is a bit of a wake up call for me. The first week little madam attended I was as sick as a dog so looked like a bag of crap no matter how much concealer I whacked on. Almost every single mother waiting around with me for the classroom to open looks like the stepped out of a magazine advertorial.
All very practical but fashionable. A sea of denim jeans, either boots over the top of the jeans or ballet flats, jackets, jumpers and cardies galore and it works so well!
I seems to be the only one hiking my pants up to stop my arse crack hanging out pulling my shirt down to prevent it from ending up under my boobs.

The only thing that I can put it down to is the fact that Perth is so isolated from the rest of the country it gives Perth women a chance to actually think about what they should be wearing! ( I know it's a far out idea but it's the only thing that can explain this phenomena)

Sydney and Melbourne were all over the designer items and Darwin had tropical chic covered (tropical chic is cotton anything and things right?!)
Canberra was a merger of Sydney and melbourne. (Have a look at to see some canberra fashionistas.)
Brisbane, I was 18, worked nights so not many social nights out and it before the rise of the ballet flat. My feet still hate me for wearing only heels or thongs every single day.

So where are you from and how would you describe the local fashion? The good, the bad and the ugly!



Monday, July 30, 2012

The clothing boom!

Today I'm taking a good hard look at my extremely limited wardrobe.
As we are living at the inlaws there isn't enough room for ALL of my clothes, shoes and accessories so I'm making do with the basics.

I'm a shopaholic from way back although since my discovery on the awesomeness of op shopping in 2008 I don't usually spend more than $10 on an item of clothing.

I have some amazing clothes including many designer pieces but I find myself dressing in a bit of a mummy uniform every day. T shirt long sleeved shirt or singlet, cardie, jeans and ballet flats. Cute and casual but a pinup it does not make!
I'm not wanting to dress rockabilly every day. For me this isn't practical. Although I do envy people who can manage it.
I just want to look NICE! You know polished and effortless but oh so fashionable and stylish at the same time. I know....every woman's dream.

So I'm thinking about doing a self portrait series. (unless little madam has some photography skills she's kept well hidden there is no other way to go about it at the moment unfortunately)

Taking daily shots of what I'm wearing no matter how shocking it may be! (trackie daks and slippers anyone?!)
And post as a weekly compilation on the blog and daily on twitter and Instagram. I will aim to wear as many different items of clothing/shoes/accessories to suss out what I do or don't like in my wardrobe and I hope you guys will all leave feedback.
This will be the new format of the help me dress myself posts as my BIL has started full time works and I can't con him into taking pics for me during the week anymore.
This will be starting tomorrow.

Also if there any any questions on where I got things from, what brand things are or what makeup etc I'm using please don't hesitate to ask.

So strap yourself in and get ready for some fashion disasters as I attempt to navigate my own wardrobe! Eeek!



Sunday, July 29, 2012

Wombats on the loose in Perth??!!

Hello hello!

You know how I said I was going to write a post about the event I was heading off to...and then I never did it...well here is all the details.

And I must say I have a bloody good excuse for not writing when I said I would. Little madam had school Friday so I figured I had a heap of time....WRONG! She spent an entire 20mins at school before I had to pick her up. The munchkin is sick.

I'm a terrible mother because my first thoughts were Noooo! I'm not missing my chance for a night out!

Luckily she wasn't THAT sick. Nothing a quiet day in PJs and lots of fluids couldn't fix.

So when hubby got home from work and I had finished applying my face we bundled her into the nice warm car and I was promptly delivered to Black Toms Bar in west Perth with promises that I wouldn't call to be picked up again at some ungodly hour.

It was the W.O.M.B.A.T Xmas in July drinks.
That sounds boring as bat shit it k ow BUT W.O.M.B.A.T stands foWebsite and Online Media, Bloggers and Tweeps. It is a social group supporting online media personalities in Perth  A group of Local bloggers in a room with pre paid booze! Well then it's on like donkey kong!

I was terrified before arriving. My modest little blog is nothing like some of the others going. I felt very out of my element. There was actually talk on facebook the day before from Chantel from BossyMummy about hiding in the toilets tweeting because of the nerves so I knew I wasn't the only one a bit scared. (

Turns out there was no reason to be worried. A glass of Bubbly was swiftly offered on arrival by the lovely Colin from Associate woman/super parents and introductions were made. The first people I met was Karen from Yellow Dandy Dreams who was a blog event virgin like me and Taryn from This Is Taryn who had done it all before and helped to put me at ease

Taryn  on the left, Karen on the right  and ME smack bang in the middle 

It was interesting as I'm still not 100% over my flu bug and trying to talk over a loud bar with what felt like two maxi tampons in my sinuses wasn't easy. I'm sorry to anyone there that couldn't understand a word I said and were just nodding politely. Your manners were impeccable!

After everyone had arrived and the glasses had been refilled a couple of times Colin introduced us to Katrina  from Bubbler our lovely sponsor for the evening (along with Nuffnang and Digital Parents Australia) and the lucky door prize was drawn Felicakes from My Life In Mono, I'm so jealous of your prize!
Colin and Felicakes

Around this time the big group of people wearing name tags attracted the attention of a very drunk "Ricky Gervais" lookalike who threw himself at our neat stack of gift boxes. He was wrangled by Georgia of Parental Parody and Glow of Where's my glow and luckily no boxes were harmed.

Jules from The Bumpiest Path, Taryn's AMAZING hair , "Ricky Gervais" and I

Glow with the wall of gift boxes, Lani from Me & Boo on the left and Sarah from  Dear Baby G

Yvette from Delightfully Tacky Lil Squirts has a heap of other pics on her post about the night HERE

There was lots of laughing and frivolity after that then all of a sudden it was time for this Cinderella to head home,sadly it was a couple of hours before midnight... but after a week of very little real food, a generous helping of cold and flu tablets mixed with all the wine I probably would have turned into a pumpkin if I had stayed out until then! And orange isn't a good colour on me!

More cowgirl than Pumpkin!

Ms Glow and I.... No more wine for me!

After I left things continued for a bit... not sure what I missed But I'm positive that there will be lots of stories coming out in everyone's blogs. :)
Kim (in the hat) and Glow

I had a great night.... Now when's the next one?!!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...